Yes, it’s 2018 now and yes, I still have to argue with another human being who is also from this century about this. So here we go:
Pretend you’re a guy and you meet a woman. You really like this woman. She’s cute, funny, lovable, etc. She hasn’t done anything towards you that you would deem bad. You’ve gone on a few dates, you’ve also known her for a while beforehand. Despite all of these great qualities about her and her cute personality, you decide you’re going to “test” her. You want to see if she is respectable or not…or you want to see if she “respects herself.” You start telling her how much you care about her, how you are so surprised you two have so much in common, and how much you love being around her. She believes you–because why would you lie, right? She’s known you for a while, too, so she trusts you. One night, at her apartment, you decide to make a move (and this is where the “test” comes in). She doesn’t resist. She looks like she wants to. She reciprocates your move and by the end of the night, you’ve had sex with her. Despite everything you love about her, you now see that she is crap because she slept with you only after a couple dates and you two haven’t even made your relationship official. She is worthless because she…as you put it…”is too easy.”
See how f*cked up that is?
Why are we judging women for their right to say yes to sex?
The bad thing about the scenario above, you used her body just so you could judge her.
Now, please don’t take this personally. This is no Feminazi attack on men because well, that’s not what I do. This is just a scenario I have compiled from people’s real life experiences.
But it happens all too often and that’s why it’s a problem.
There is still a double-standard in society about women and sex. It’s the same crazy things that were happening in the medieval era when we placed worth on a woman’s virginity so she could marry the next richest prince and bring an alliance between two countries.
A woman has every right to her own body. Just as every man does. Everyone has the right to say, “No.” And everyone has the right to say, “Yes.” So why do we have the mindset that a woman who has less sex or sexual partners is more deserving of being treated with decency? When did we set a time limit on when is an appropriate time to have sex with a new partner?
I have been accused of being a “feminist pig” for standing up for what I believe in and that’s fine. I believe in equality for both genders. I am no man-hating person. I love men. Men are beautifully complicated creatures who have many amazing qualities. My feminism even stands behind women who are sex workers and women who dance on poles. Those women are deserving of respect and decency also.
Respect is not something that is earned. It is something that should be given upfront until the person acts otherwise. And if you feel you need to DISRESPECT someone because they’ve slept with you too quickly, then do us all a favor and stop having sex.
You’re probably wondering how we can change the societal mindset of people deeming women unworthy of respect depending on sex… well, I wish I had an answer for you, but I don’t. All we can do is spread awareness. Awareness that women are humans. Humans are sexual creatures. No seriously, according to science, sex is right up there with food and air… because how else would humans be created? We just happen to be a few of the species on Earth that have sex for pleasure or romantic reasons.
Point is, whether you are a man or a woman, you shouldn’t be judged by how quickly you sleep with someone or how many people you have been with. It’s no one’s business and I can guarantee anyone who is judging you has probably had a few “hoe stories” to tell.