Trump says Haiti is a “sh*t hole country”…Well here is my response…

We’ve all seen the news in the last 24 hours talking about Trump and his “shit hole countries” comment. Haiti was one of the countries he was speaking of. While Trump himself denies that he said these words, there were other people in the room who either agreed that he said this or didn’t exactly deny it.

So let’s talk about this. Yes, it’s a blatantly racist comment. As the United States, we should be making things as peaceful as possible with all countries. I know most of us are scared out of our pants about a nuclear war with North Korea and Trump seems to not care about the lives or welfare of the people in the very country he “runs.” But I digress.

Let me tell you about people of Haiti that I know.

When I lived in Florida, I worked at two nursing homes as a CNA (certified nurse assistant). Many of my co-workers were women from Haiti. I was a new CNA, being only 21, and let me tell you I learned a lot from these women who Trump claims to be from a “sh*t hole country.”

These women taught me how to work faster and more efficiently when dealing with patients. Some of them taught me a few words of Creole and we would all laugh when I attempted to pronounce them. These women threw a baby shower for me when I was pregnant with my first son. Many of them gave me parenting advice when I needed help with my son after he was born. We were a team working together to take care of our patients and help keep each other’s heads up. In 2010, when the Earthquake in Haiti happened, our facility took in a few people from there to help them with wound care. They were all very nice and thankful to be here and safe.

In conclusion, the “sh*it hole” country as Trump calls it, has introduced me to some of the strongest women in the world. And some of the most hard working at that.

So dear citizens in or from Haiti, I apologize for Trump’s words.

 

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3 Things That Happen When You Are Mindful of What You Eat

Roughly five months ago I made the decision to stop eating meat. I can’t really explain what brought me to this choice. I know it’s been something that’s crossed my mind for years now but last August it got to the point where I could barely look at meat in the store. I didn’t think that a cow, chicken, pig, or fish should have to sacrifice it’s life just to nourish mine. Mind you, this is NOT an article to force veganism or vegetarianism down your throat. Not at all. This is just to tell you some benefits. Here goes:

1. You’ll feel better

Yes, that’s right. If your diet switch is done properly (and by that I mean still eating proteins and possibly taking supplements), you’ll feel better, more energetic, and less fatigued. At the time, my blood pressure was up, my iron was down, and I felt sluggish all the time. By adding more plants to your diet, you get more nutrients. It’s a fact!

2. You’ll have less “bathroom issues”

Um yeah, this is a topic too many people don’t want to talk about, but here I am to talk about just that. Bathroom issues have been a severe problem for me since 2013 when my gallbladder decided to betray me and create stones. I had it removed and as I am glad that I don’t have crushing pain of gallbladder attacks anymore, with it being removed causes a whole new set of problems. Having no gallbladder completely changes your digestive system and just about any food can trigger bathroom trips. Well, since I’ve changed to a plant based diet, I’ve noticed my AHEM… bathroom trips have been more…normal. You see, the America diet is highly lacking fiber. Fiber which is found in fruits, veggies, and legumes helps make things smoother and normal…if you know what I mean. But here’s the thing, and don’t let this scare you, when you make the switch, your digestive system WILL freak out for about a week or two…gallbladder or no gallbladder. Your body isn’t used to it, but give it time to regulate and then you’ll see the difference.

3. You have a new appreciation for all life

I’ve done a lot of reading on the animals that we typically eat in America, ya know, piggies, cows, chickens… It turns out that they are amazingly intelligent creatures. Pigs have the intelligence of a three-year-old, which is incredible considering most people view them as rough, disgusting creatures. Cows have emotions almost the same as humans. They mourn lost friends or family members, they are very playful, and they grow bonds with humans as well–granted they are being treated fairly. Chickens have an incredible memory for recognizing our faces. These are intelligent, loving, playful creatures, and as I said earlier, I don’t feel that they need to sacrifice their lives to nourish mine.

So if you are considering making the switch to veganism or vegetarianism, do some research. Know what products to consume and not to consume. Now what nutrients you need and what plant based item to get them from. The farm animals and your body will thank you!

(Image from delish.com)

Believe it or Not, We Can Simply Respect Women Without Judging Them on their Sex Life

Yes, it’s 2018 now and yes, I still have to argue with another human being who is also from this century about this. So here we go:

Pretend you’re a guy and you meet a woman. You really like this woman. She’s cute, funny, lovable, etc. She hasn’t done anything towards you that you would deem bad. You’ve gone on a few dates, you’ve also known her for a while beforehand. Despite all of these great qualities about her and her cute personality, you decide you’re going to “test” her. You want to see if she is respectable or not…or you want to see if she “respects herself.” You start telling her how much you care about her, how you are so surprised you two have so much in common, and how much you love being around her. She believes you–because why would you lie, right? She’s known you for a while, too, so she trusts you. One night, at her apartment, you decide to make a move (and this is where the “test” comes in). She doesn’t resist. She looks like she wants to. She reciprocates your move and by the end of the night, you’ve had sex with her. Despite everything you love about her, you now see that she is crap because she slept with you only after a couple dates and you two haven’t even made your relationship official. She is worthless because she…as you put it…”is too easy.”

See how f*cked up that is?

Why are we judging women for their right to say yes to sex?

The bad thing about the scenario above, you used her body just so you could judge her.

Now, please don’t take this personally. This is no Feminazi attack on men because well, that’s not what I do. This is just a scenario I have compiled from people’s real life experiences.

But it happens all too often and that’s why it’s a problem.

There is still a double-standard in society about women and sex. It’s the same crazy things that were happening in the medieval era when we placed worth on a woman’s virginity so she could marry the next richest prince and bring an alliance between two countries.

A woman has every right to her own body. Just as every man does. Everyone has the right to say, “No.” And everyone has the right to say, “Yes.” So why do we have the mindset that a woman who has less sex or sexual partners is more deserving of being treated with decency? When did we set a time limit on when is an appropriate time to have sex with a new partner?

I have been accused of being a “feminist pig” for standing up for what I believe in and that’s fine. I believe in equality for both genders. I am no man-hating person. I love men. Men are beautifully complicated creatures who have many amazing qualities. My feminism even stands behind women who are sex workers and women who dance on poles. Those women are deserving of respect and decency also.

Respect is not something that is earned. It is something that should be given upfront until the person acts otherwise. And if you feel you need to DISRESPECT someone because they’ve slept with you too quickly, then do us all a favor and stop having sex.

You’re probably wondering how we can change the societal mindset of people deeming women unworthy of respect depending on sex… well, I wish I had an answer for you, but I don’t. All we can do is spread awareness. Awareness that women are humans. Humans are sexual creatures. No seriously, according to science, sex is right up there with food and air… because how else would humans be created? We just happen to be a few of the species on Earth that have sex for pleasure or romantic reasons.

Point is, whether you are a man or a woman, you shouldn’t be judged by how quickly you sleep with someone or how many people you have been with. It’s no one’s business and I can guarantee anyone who is judging you has probably had a few “hoe stories” to tell.

What It’s Like as an Older College Student

With college, people tend to think of young folks fresh out of high school who don’t look a day older than fifteen. They think parties. They think frat houses. Drinking. Sex. Football. Being homesick…

But as an older student it’s not quite like that. Now mind you, I am not THAT old, but I’ll be 30 in February and I can assure you that even at my age now, I look at some of the younger students like they are nuts. Here are some thoughts I’ve had in the two semesters I’ve been at my local community college:

1. “Please don’t put me with those kids again in our group assignment!”

My English teacher, as much as I love her, often puts us in group projects. Normally, I don’t mind because sometimes she lets us be in our own groups and this consisted of four other people who were my age who really got down and dirty discussing whatever topics we had to discuss in class. We were the thinkers. But on occasion our teacher chooses our groups for us and I somehow always end up with the 18/19-year-olds who did not talk and sat there on their phones. Talk about awkward and annoying.

2. “Why are these books so GODDAMN expensive??”

I’m sure all of the students think this, not just the older ones. College textbooks are expensive and let me tell you, it’s a pain in the ass when I have to pay for them out of pocket and I am scrounging around on different websites looking for the cheapest version!

3. “Why is there graffiti on the bathroom walls?”

Yes, believe it or not, people are writing things in the bathroom stalls at my college (this is not meant to be an offense towards the college of course). On my first day, I used the restroom and there was writing there on the wall with marker that said, “How’s the shit going?” I often answered it back mentally… “Pretty good, thanks for asking.” *eye roll*

4. “Wonder where that person has been?”

For some reason I get kinda sad if someone drops out of the class especially if they’ve been coming for a couple months or something and then they don’t come anymore. I wonder what has been going on in their life that they had to come to this decision…and yes, I know I am probably thinking too much and day dreaming but it’s something that often crosses my mind. I hope all those students are okay.

5. “Dude, stop changing your seat!”

Something that is a minor pet peeve of mine in college so far is when people sit in a different seat every class session. For some reason, it is this unspoken rule that you kinda claim a seat on the first day and you sit there the entire semester. Nope, not this guy. He sat in a different seat every week and it annoyed the crap out of me. It’s probably just due to my low tolerance of humans in general, and apparently the dude has commitment issues… or something.

6. “I hope I can do this.”

As an older student, I don’t feel I have the energy to keep up with the younger students but that doesn’t mean I don’t work my ass off to do well and my grades do reflect that. That’s not to say that it doesn’t get rough and I have to keep pushing myself to keep going and remember why I started this journey in the first place. And if you are an older student, I hope you never get discouraged and you outshine those youngins! (No offense)

 

An Open Letter To the Ex That Destroyed Me

There’s a lot I have to say, Mr. Ex, so bear with me.

There are dark things I had to deal with in the several years of our relationship. I never thought in a million years that I would let someone control and destroy my life the way you did.

I am not going to sit here and type out a list or a novel of what you put me through because the truth is: You know what you did. You deny it to my face as if I am crazy and tell other people that you treated me well, when you know exactly what kind of dark pits of hell you put me through.

Because of you how you treated me, I will probably choose to remain single for the rest of my life. I cannot trust a man to have my heart ever again. He might use every detail about my life against me like you did. He might start calling me names when he’s angry or make me feel like a whore because I’ve slept with other people besides him…like you did. What if he tries to isolate me from family and friends and tell me that no one cares about me in the entire world…like you did. What if he starts a f**ked up yearly tradition in February too, where I have let you do what ever you want to me sexually no matter how upset I am or how PREGNANT I am because I was a “whore” during the February we were BROKEN UP (YEARS AGO). And I can’t turn him down because “I open my legs for everyone else…”

What if he makes me feel so alone and dark like you did? And tells me to end my life…like you did. And the one time I attempted…he leaves me alone… and then shames me for it later.

What if he decides, seven years into our relationship, to tell me that I was always just a piece of ass?

But yet… this “piece of ass” was lazy and not creative in bed.

What if he doesn’t support me bettering my life with a college education…like you did. Even though the community college was a half-mile from our house and too far for you to drive.

There’s always a chance that he could hide me from the world like you did, whenever I got pregnant or just in general–as if he is ashamed of me.

And well, marriage is completely out of the question… because “he will never marry a girl like me…” That’s the same thing you said to me.

And let’s not even talk about children. I might not be allowed to breastfeed his child either because “I am too impure and disgusting to do so.” He might also think breastfeeding is gross in general because his mother didn’t breastfeed.

Then, after dealing with all his torture, I might decide to leave him and be bashed for that too. The kids might be used as weapons to hurt me. Co-Parenting will probably be non-existent because I am just the deadbeat mother who “isn’t there for them.”

Or…

It could turn out an entirely different way. I could find a man who treats me well. Who knows was consent is and doesn’t call me a “feminist pig” when I want to vote for the Democratic woman. He’d be proud to display me on his Facebook page and put a relationship status as “In a Relationship with Keisha Smith.” I could find a man that respects that I want to breastfeed and is totally supportive of that action. I could find a man who has no idea what chauvinistic behavior is… you know, he’s willing to cook, help me clean, give the kids baths, let me rest if I am sick, get up with the baby if I just worked a 16-hour night shift, etc. I could find a man who thinks I am worth far far more than the dirt beneath his shoe–or the shit on his toilet paper. A man who won’t see me as a useless burden who is wasting space. And a man who understands that women have a menstrual cycle and that accidents happen and he won’t banish me from the bed for all eternity if they do. A man who genuinely loves me for me.

You are probably reading this thinking that this will never happen for me because to you I am nothing. All I can say is, one day you’ll regret how you treated me when a man comes along and treasures the very woman you thought was trash. He will be the smile on my face and a good role model for the kids (the boys I have with you). He will show them everything a man should be. I’ll be wearing a white dress and looking beautiful AF as I have my first dance with him…

But oh well, I am just a whore who doesn’t want to commit to anyone… right? 😉

 

 

Things I Have Dealt With as a Mother of Special Needs Children

Special needs children are some of the most loving, caring kids I have ever seen and I am not just saying that because I have two kids under that spectrum. They really are a blessing. Special needs is never easy to deal with and it comes with a lot of pain, feeling of failure, and lack of support–usually. It got me thinking that some of these feelings are probably induced by other people. Here is what I mean:

My older son, who is now 8, has what is called childhood apraxia of speech (CAS) . For a long time he struggled to speak and form words and after years of speech therapy he finally had his voice. Now he is never quiet. But there are still some issues that he has to overcome like comprehension, language skills, and conversation skills. When he was younger, say around 2-3, I used to hear some of the worst things that I could hear. “You’re the quiet/shy parent and he is around you the most, he is probably just picking up your habits.” Then there was my other favorite saying, “You’re just not talking to him enough.”

These things hurt. The way people said these things you would think I just locked my toddler up in a room with no stimulation or human interaction ever. It killed me inside and made me feel like a bad mother, not to mention that it seemed other people thought the same.

The criticism got worse when I had my second son, he is now 5. He, to this day, has not spoken a word. He’s been diagnosed with autism. He’s a loving boy who loves to be tickled and watch Tangled. He will run at full speed towards the site of a cookie or cupcake. He loves his blanket. And when people saw that I now had two children not speaking or speaking well… I got criticized by the closest people to me. I was the stay-at-home-mom. “What are you doing all day that your kids aren’t talking?” I tried to do what the speech therapists would tell me and their father to do at home with them, but it wasn’t enough. “You’re not working with them enough” and “You’re probably on Facebook all day.” There was a time where I would be conscience about how much I shared on Facebook because, even though you could probably share thirty “memes” and articles in a matter of two minutes, I had to keep the “appearance” that I was actually focused on my kids 24/7 even though I already was. It was tough.

They say it takes a village to raise a child and an ever bigger village to raise a special needs child and well, to put it frankly, I had no village. I had no support system. Just a bunch of criticism and hateful comments.

There is something else that I’ve noticed about friends and family members (more so family members) and keep in mind, my children are not bad kids nor are they difficult to handle. My kids love Sea World. It’s a place where they go and believe it or not–no meltdowns happen, they truly enjoy the animals, and they have loads of fun. Almost all the members of their family had yearly passes. My kids were always left out. Every single time… despite the fact that they had passes themselves. I’d see posts on Facebook of other family members going to Sea World and having a grand ol’ time and never–not even once– inviting my children (this wasn’t one or two times either… this was over a period of a few years). I don’t mean to sound like a brat here, or entitled, but I know one day my kids will notice this. It may not be until they reach the age of being on social media, and they see the pictures that I see, but they’ll know. What am I supposed to do when they feel sad about not being invited? I can tell you that I won’t sugarcoat it one little bit. And it makes me bitter that my kids get left out just because it seems no one wants to deal with them. It’s heartbreaking. And I hope certain people read this article. That’s how bitter I am.

Special needs kids are just like any other kids. They need to be given the same opportunities to do things as anyone else. As a society, and even as a family unit, we can’t isolate them from things and people in the world. They grow and learn like everyone else. And parents cannot help the fact that their kids were dealt the cards they were dealt. So please, next time you think you are an expert on special needs parenting and think you need to make a hateful comment, reconsider it, because parents in general are doing the best they can.

Can a Conservative and a Liberal Be in a Relationship?

I think some people can relate when I say, it seems politics used to be simple. I remember back in the 90s and even 2000s when the only real debate between a liberal and a conservative was the issue of abortion. In which case, I think two people who see differently on that issue alone can be in a relationship no problem.

Nowadays it seems that politics have morphed into this diabolical mess of morals, insults, racism, and the notion that people don’t deserve the basic needs of survival, you know: food, water, air, shelter, education, and well… sex.

So here is the question: Can a Conservative and a Liberal be in a relationship?

Well, here is what I know about relationships:

I know for a fact that relationships take hard work. You have to respect the other person’s differences and understand that you are not two people in the same pod but two entirely different people altogether. Every couple disagrees on SOMETHING–That’s part of a healthy relationship. But what if the person has a completely different view on life as you do? Is it possible. Jeanne Safer, Ph. D, wrote an article for Huffington Post on this exact subject. She is a liberal and has been with her conservative husband for 30+ years and somehow they are making it work. Click here for her article. According to her, she and her husband rarely fight and although they have differences in political views, they each keep an open mind.

Nowadays, I am not sure people would be so lucky. Mind you, I am a liberal myself and there are things I have a hard time accepting from the conservative front. I cannot agree that the violence-free National Anthem protesting is a bad thing. I do not agree that a woman should have no control over her reproductive rights. I agree that struggling families should have every right to government assistance even if it comes out of my tax dollars. I agree that immigrants and refugees have a right to make America their home just as I have. I could go on and on. Could I really be with a man who didn’t see eye-to-eye with me on that? Call me weak, but I don’t think I could deal with it. At the end of the day, even if it is a fantasy in the making, I’d like to think that I will be with a partner who I could stand next to and fight for the rights of all people despite race, religion, gender, social class, economic class together–hand in hand.

In conclusion, could it work? Sure. But here is the problem, both of you will have to set your beliefs aside and possibly never discuss these topics without hating each other. I say, why bother? At this point in my life, my beliefs in basic human rights is not something I am willing to sacrifice, especially for a relationship.